


the reply

by Cherryscones



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: :), Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Adrien's house had super tight security, Akuma Possession, Alya gives 10/10 pep talks alright, Angst, Arcades, Attempt at Humor, Bad Puns, Blood, Cat Puns, Crime Fighting, Daydreaming, F/M, Fluff and Angst, High School, I Should Stop Tagging, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Identity Reveal, Letters, Love Confessions, Not What It Looks Like, Parent Death, Snow, SpongeBob SquarePants References, Stabbing, Suicidal Thoughts, Swearing, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, adrien is also ooc, and ill end the tags at that, come to think of it this has like zero fluff, courtesy of marinette, from juMPING TO CONCLUSIONS, its literally all just neutral stuff and they a huGE THING OF ANGST AT THE END, just bear with me here, just go with it, like its not even well-written angst, listen .. not really, lots of stammering, marinette's knees must be sore, never thought id have to use that tag, the character death thing is nOT FOR ADRIEN'S MUm just so u knoW, the tags are my favourite part of this entire process, these tags are a mess but so am i, why r u still reading the tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-13 22:02:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7139246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherryscones/pseuds/Cherryscones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Her pushing him away became such a regular occurrence that Adrien almost became numb to it.</p><p>Almost.<br/>---<br/>Adrien used to write letters to Ladybug to express himself - he never thought she'd end up reading them.</p><p>-DISCONTINUED (rip)-</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. letters and ladybugs

**Author's Note:**

> hey ya’ll as i suspect you’ve seen this work is abandoned rip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrien remembers.  
> The journal gets a name.

Adrien was never really good at talking to people.  
Even when he was younger, he'd been shy.  
His mother had noticed.

On a muggy summer evening, she'd approached him, her golden hair and shining eyes always so full of support and inspiration.  
"Are you alright?" she'd asked.  
Adrien shook his head; he would never lie to his mother.  
She looked at him sympathetically. "You can tell me what's wrong, you know."  
So he did.  
He told her about his problems with talking to others, how he had _so many things to say,_ but not enough words to say them.  
She'd paused for a moment, glancing upwards thoughtfully. "Why don't you write letters?"

He'd been about to protest when his mother hushed him gently. "You didn't let me finish," she said with a soft smile. "You could write letters containing the things you'd like to say."

Adrien looked confused. "Who would I write them to?"

She shrugged. "Anyone you want. You don't even have to give it to them if you don't want to."

He furrowed his brow. "Like a diary?"

"Exactly," she nodded.

Adrien had frowned skeptically. "Aren't diaries for _girls_?"

"Of course not, who told you that?"

It was Adrien's turn to shrug.  
She just smiled at him. "It's perfectly fine for boys to have diaries," she continued, "But if you're really all that worried, it technically _isn't_ a diary."

Adrien looked at his hands, gripped together in his lap. "I don't know if this'll work."  
His mother leaned in, kissing the side of his head. "Give it a try."

And with that, she bid him goodnight, then left the room.

Yes, since he was eight years old Adrien had been writing those letters.

At first he had a hard time deciding who to write to.  
His first thought had been his mother, but he eventually settled on writing to a random person. He called them "Stranger".

He would write to them every night, wondering if maybe, someday, someone would read his letters.  
He fantasized about sharing them with his significant other, his partner, his soulmate.

He doubted he'd ever work up the bravery to show anyone, but still, he wrote.

The stranger was always a good listener, and in the warm light of his bedroom, he spilled his thoughts and emotions out onto the lined pages.

By the time he was finished he'd have ink or lead smudged all over the side of his hand, and sometimes a paper cut or two, but that was a small price to pay for the immense relief he felt afterwards.

 

-

 

As the years went by, Adrien got better.  
With the disappearance of his mother, he was forced to come out of his shell and become more independent, even with his overprotective father running his life.

He spoke a little more, and made friends fairly easily.

His life gradually got busier and busier - all the new people he had to socialize with on top of his modelling work combined into a free-time-destroying monster - but he never forgot to write his nightly letter, placing it in a box under his bed along with the rest of them.

He felt the need to keep them hidden from everyone else, like they were a final secret that his mother had placed in his hands before vanishing off to who-knows-where.

It wasn't until a few years after his mother's supposed death that he gave the stranger a name.

The stranger was _absolutely beautiful_. She was strong and always optimistic, bringing on a feeling of nostalgia whenever she was near, reminding him of the inviting warmth and loving hands of his family before it had been torn apart.

He called her Ladybug, and she was perfect.

 

-

 

Ladybug kind of reminded him of his mother.

 

At first, he always assumed that _that_ was the reason for him being so attracted to her; she felt like home.

Just a few days later he realized how wrong he was.

It was at that point he decided to write the rest of his letters to her.

 

He hoped she would hear him.

 

-

 

She heard him.

She _heard_ him, heard the _noise_ , but misunderstood the meaning of his words.

 

No matter how many times he tried to get closer to her, she always pushed him away, and it _hurt_.

It hurt _a lot_.

 

The first time she distanced herself from him was the first time he skipped writing a letter.

Not because he’d been too lazy or forgetful, no- he hadn’t written the letter because his emotions were simply too powerful to put on a page.

He was feeling too many things at once- lost, upset, embarrassed, and oddly enough, accepted.

He felt more accepted than he had in years.

He felt like he had been seen as an _actual person_ , defined by more than just the words that were put in his mouth and the people he had worked with.

He actually felt close to normal _._

 

By the next day he was back to his usual routine, and her separating herself from him became such a regular occurrence that Adrien almost became numb to it.

 

Almost.

 

In the end he knew that she never truly meant to hurt him, and that made a world of a difference.

 

He kept writing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO YUP THATS THE FIRST CHAPTER/PROLOGUE  
> SORRY IT WAS SO SHORt,, the others will all be around 2000 words ha h  
> ALSO SORRY FOR THE LACK OF SUPERHERO KIDS IN THIS CHAPTER - I'll get the next one up asap hahah


	2. arcades and akumas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They go to the arcade. Chat Noir quotes SpongeBob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IT BEGINS

He hadn’t written a letter in days. It wasn’t that he was too lazy- he just simply _forgot._

 

His past few days had been full of stress and akuma fights.

Hawkmoth seemed to be stepping it up for winter break.

 

The past August had been full of heavy fogs, warning the citizens of Paris of a harsh winter ahead, and despite the lack of snow the air had a frosty bite to it.

 

For the last few battles, Chat had been forced to do more work than usual; Ladybug always grew tired during the colder months.

 

Speaking of Ladybug, he was pleased to find that they had been growing much closer recently, although she still wouldn’t reveal anything about her private life ( _i_ _t’s called private for a reason, chaton_ ).

Still, one question, _The Question_ , plagued his mind.

_Who was she under the mask?_

Adrien’s mind ticked off the list of suspects.

Rose? They had similar eyes, but Rose’s soft spoken nature would surely carry over into her superhero persona, and she'd been akumatized.

Alya seemed more likely, but her hair and eye colour suggested otherwise. Plus, Ladybug didn't want her citizen and superhero life to be connected, and Alya had the Ladyblog - and he'd also seen her at nearly every akuma fight to date, filming from the in the bushes or around the corner.

There was Marinette, the girl that sat behind him in class.

The _one_ person in their class that hadn't been akumatized yet.

Her hairstyle was nearly identical to Ladybug’s, but she could just be a fangirl attempting to copy her idol.

As for her eyes… it was hard to tell.

Whenever he spoke to her, she’d either look away quickly, or freeze up. Sometimes she’d merge them both and become an awkward, blushing mess.

 

 _It’s too bad she won’t speak to me_ , Adrien reflected. _She’s probably still angry about the gum thing last year._

 

The shrill ringing of the bell tugged him out of his thoughts, and he glanced around to see his classmates packing up their things.

 

Nino nudged his shoulder as he stood up to cram his books into his bag. “Hey, you okay, bro? You were kinda spacing out.”

 

Adrien stood up as well, turning his attention to his best friend.

“Sorry, yeah, I’m fine. I might need to borrow your notes though,” he rubbed his neck sheepishly. “I just missed the entire lesson.”

 

Nino opened his mouth to reply when something over Adrien’s shoulder caught his attention, and his face broke into a wide grin.

 

“Mr. Perfect asking to borrow someone’s notes? Did I hear you right?”

 

Adrien turned around as Alya’s voice sounded behind him.

 

“But babe, I wasn’t asking for any notes,” came Nino’s smooth reply.

 

Alya raised an eyebrow, and behind her, Marinette giggled.

 

“I wasn’t talking to you,” she responded simply.

 

Nino snorted. “Whatever you say.”

 

Marinette gave another soft laugh, and looked as though she instantly regretted it when it caught Alya’s attention, causing her to step to the side to let Marinette into the conversation.

 

Her gaze immediately locked with Adrien’s, and she looked away, blushing violently.

 

Alya watched her with a sympathetic smile, then looked at Adrien, who was trying to catch Marinette’s eye again.

 

He was failing.

 

Alya sighed, taking pity on the two. She put an arm around Marinette, making the blue-haired girl squeak in surprise.

 

“So hey, listen,” Alya began, drawing the attention away from her helpless friend. “Me and Mari were planning on going to the arcade together, but if we go alone she’ll just end up annihilating me at everything. Wanna come so that I don’t lose alone?”

 

Marinette’s hand shot to Alya’s wrist, clenching tightly.

 

 _I never agreed to this,_ the tried to yell telepathically at her friend. _What are you talking about?_

 

But it was too late to say anything because the boys had already agreed and Marinette was being dragged out of the school, down the front steps, and down the street towards the arcade.

 

-

 

Marinette’s feet were tired, her bag was full of prize tickets, and her eyes hurt from staring at screens for too long, but all in all, they’d had a great night.

 

They were just now leaving the arcade - at 10:30 at night - and Nino _would not stop talking_ about how he’d completely demolished everyone at the mini basketball hoops.

 

“And then, Adrien threw one, but it hit mine into the net and-” he elbowed Adrien. “Hey, thanks for that, dude! Even though I didn’t need the help.”

 

Alya rolled her eyes. “You may have won at that lame basketball game, but Marinette destroyed us at pretty much everything else,” she turned to her friend, grinning proudly. “You gotta teach me some of those combos in Ultimate Mecha Strike III, cuz _girl,_  you kicked our _asses_.”

 

True to Alya’s word, Marinette had indeed beaten them all at Ultimate Mecha Strike III. Several times.

 

Marinette blushed. “I’m not _that_ good.”

 

“Don’t underestimate yourself,” Adrien argued. “You were amazing!”

 

Marinette stammered a clumsy “thank you” before the moment was shattered by Alya’s phone playing Ladybug’s theme.

 

Everyone looked at her.

 

“That’s your ringtone? Isn’t that the one that won the contest on the Ladyblog last year?”

 

A year previous, Alya had set up a contest on the Ladyblog to see who could design the most fitting theme for Ladybug.

 

“Yup,” Alya pocketed her phone after briefly glancing at the screen. “My dad wants me home now.”

 

“Aww,” Nino complained, before checking the red watch on his wrist. “Oh, jeez, I should probably hit the road too. I’ll see you guys on Monday.”

 

Alya nodded in agreement. “I had fun,” she leaned in towards Marinette, whispering. “Don’t have _too_ much fun with Adrien tonight.”

 

Marinette’s face lit up like a christmas tree. “ _Alya_! We’re not-! We’re just _standing_ -”

 

The older girl grinned at her before grabbing Nino’s wrist. “See you at school!”

 

Marinette grunted a reluctant goodbye, the complete opposite of Adrien’s cheerful wave.

 

They both stared into the shadows that their two friends had just disappeared into.

 

It was a moment before either of them realized they were standing alone together. Outside of an arcade. At almost 11:00 PM.

 

Marinette snapped out of it first. “Oh! I should also, um, l-leave. I mean, not because I don’t like you or something! I just, I should really go home, and, uh,” She cut herself off, rubbing her arm awkwardly. “I-I, um. Goodbye!”

 

Turning on her heel, she stuck out her leg to begin walking, and then proceeded to trip over the curb.

She would have toppled over if Adrien hadn’t quickly grabbed her arm, stabilizing her.

 

Her eyes widened.

 

“Are you okay?” Adrien asked, concern evident in his gaze.

 

“Uh, y-yes?”

He looked skeptical. “Want me to walk you home?”

 

Marinette’s heart simultaneously melted, exploded, and leapt out of her chest.

 

Only hours ago she’d been sitting at her desk behind Adrien, daydreaming about _just seeing his eyes_ , and now he was offering to _walk her home_.

 

She squealed internally, mentally reminding herself to text Alya all about this later.

 

It took a moment for her to realize that Adrien was still awaiting an answer. She opened her mouth to reply when a shriek sliced through the air.

 

Her head snapped in the direction of the scream, her Ladybug senses kicking in.

 

Moments later, another scream pierced the air, and a figure came into view.

Marinette squinted in the darkness, trying to make out what the person looked like.

 

Another shriek rang out, and both teens slapped their hands over their ears, eyes trained on the mystery person.

 

The figure leapt off the building’s roof, and Marinette once again opened her mouth, and once again she said nothing.

 

Before the person could plummet to the ground, something that looked like a broomstick had appeared underneath them, carrying them into the air.

 

_Is that… a broomstick?_

 

Marinette’s gaze snapped to Adrien, but he was already speaking.

 

“Get somewhere safe, okay? I’ll be right back!” He was gone in the blink of an eye.

 

“W-wait,” Marinette called out, taking a step in the direction he ran off in. “It’s not safe to-”

 

Another shriek ripped through the night behind her, and she changed directions abruptly, charging into the nearest alleyway.

 

She would find Adrien later; fighting the Akuma was more important.

 

-

 

It was a drawn-out but simple fight.

Chat had admittedly had a little bit of trouble with the screaming- his heading was incredibly sensitive. Otherwise, though, there had been no injuries, and the Akuma hadn’t really done much to fight back.

She was a teenage girl that had spent most of the fight screaming and howling about two fictional characters - wizards, apparently - and how it was so _unfair_ how they so obviously liked each other, but neither realized it.

 

Marinette was unfamiliar with the characters, but the situation seemed vaguely familiar.

 

Chat groaned, rubbing his head.

Ladybug glanced at him, concerned. “Are you okay?”

 

He opened one eye. “Of course. Her screaming _did_ give me a bit of a headache, but the mere gesture of my lady showing concern for my wellbeing has cured it.”

 

She rolled her eyes. “At least now you can’t ask me to kiss it better or something ridiculous like that.”

 

Both green eyes shot open, and he stared at her for a moment before stumbling and falling against a nearby wall. “It a-purrs as though I was mew-staken; the headache had returned!” he looked up at her hopefully, clutching at his head. “My lady, the only cure is true love’s k-”

 

“Nope. Sorry, not happening, chaton. I’ve already kissed you once.”

 

“I don’t even remember-”

 

“It still happened!”

 

Chat Noir sighed mournfully. “This is _great_. Just the three of us- you, me, and this brick wall that you built between us.”

 

Ladybug raised her eyebrows, holding in a laugh. “Chaton, did… did you just quote _SpongeBob_?”

 

“If I say yes, will you kiss-”

 

“No.”

 

Chat replied with a pout.

 

She returned his gaze evenly, but with a smile.

 

Ladybug gasped suddenly, startling Chat. “Oh, crap- I forgot!”

 

Chat cocked his head to the side. “Forgot what, if I may ask?”

 

“I was going to go look for Ad-” she broke off just in time. “My friend. He ran off before the attack, I need to make sure he’s alright.”

 

“I see,” Chat responded, looking like something caught his interest. “What does he look like?”

 

“Well...” Ladybug began, but decided against it. It was too risky to explain it to him, as she could end up revealing personal details. “Ah, never mind, I’m sure he’s safe.”

 

“But-”

 

As if on cue, Ladybug’s Miraculous beeped, signaling that her transformation was coming to an end. “I’ve got to go, sorry, chaton. I’ll see you around.”

 

She was already leaping away through the shadowed city before a word could leave his mouth.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i originally had an actually almost smart idea for the akuma but then idk what happened oops
> 
> also would you believe me if i told u that that spongebob quote is what inspired this entire fic,,,,,, because it is


	3. projects and private things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marinette finds something and jumps to conclusions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS SO  
> the end of this chapter involves some suicidal thoughts so!! if ur uncomfy with that stuff u should be okay if u skip the last three lines!

The calling of her name brought Marinette back into the present and out of her daydream involving Adrien and something she’d rather not talk about.

 

“...will be partnered with Adrien,” her teacher was speaking, but Marinette tuned her out in favour of looking around the class to figure out what was going on.

 

She glanced around the class, unsure of what was going on and why everyone was standing up.

 

Alya nudged her, seizing her attention. “Girl, you okay?”

 

“Um, if being completely confused as to what we’re doing qualifies as ‘okay’, then, yes?” It was more of a question than a statement.

 

Alya sighed, but a smile appeared on her face. “You gotta stop daydreaming about Adrien’s face,” she scolded.

 

Marinette wanted to give an indignant reply of “I wasn’t daydreaming about his _face_ ”, but she concluded that it would only make her situation worse.

Instead, she flushed, slapping her hands over Alya’s mouth and glancing around to see if anyone heard her.

 

Just when it seemed like the coast was clear, a voice just below her startled her so badly she almost fell out of her chair.

 

“Marinette?”

 

She peered over the edge of her desk. “Y-yes?”

 

“Should I go sit up there with you, or…?”

 

Marinette immediately leapt out of her seat, almost tripping over her bag in her rush to descend the staircase. “Oh! No, don’t get up! I’ll come- I mean, _go_ \- um,” she stammered. “I-I’ll move to sit beside you.”

 

As Marinette walked around the front of the desk to trade spots with Nino, she caught Alya flashing her a supportive thumbs-up.

 

The blue-haired girl felt a smile creep onto her face as she sat down beside Adrien, hands gripped together tightly.

 

They sat in silence for a few moments before she finally spoke up. “So, uh… w-what are we doing?”

 

Adrien chuckled. “You weren't paying attention?”

 

Marinette felt her smile widen sheepishly, and she tried to look as nonchalant as possible while thoughts raced around her head at an immeasurable speed.

 

_What if he thinks I’m a bad student? He probably isn’t allowed to talk to people with low marks… Oh, of course he isn’t! He’s Adrien-freaking-Agreste, he wouldn’t be able to have any association with criminals like me-_

 

“I’m getting almost all A’s,” Marinette blurted out.

 

Apparently that sounded quite strange out of context.

 

Adrien looked slightly confused, but still replied with a polite, “That’s nice.”

 

Marinette pursed her lips to keep her scream of frustration contained.

 

Adrien watched her quietly.

 

“So,” Adrien broke the silence this time. “Should I explain what we’re doing?”

 

Marinette nodded gratefully. “Yes. P-please, I mean.”

 

Multiple times during the explanation Marinette caught herself slipping out of focus, and before she knew it, Adrien was looking at her expectantly.

 

“Uh,” was her genius response.

 

Adrien raised an eyebrow. “Are you having trouble concentrating?” he asked kindly.

 

Marinette shrugged, then nodded, her face on fire. She cast her gaze down to her shoes. “Sorry.”

 

Adrien shook his head, placing his hand on her shoulder in a comforting gesture. “No, it’s okay. Everyone has bad days.”

 

 _Except for you,_ Marinette thought breathlessly as she absorbed his beauty. _You’re perfect._

 

Adrien either guessed what she was thinking, or became uncomfortable under her lovestruck stare; he took his hand back, looking slightly awkward.

 

After a minute he looked up at her again. “How about we work on this outside of school instead? It might be easier to concentrate then.”

 

Marinette was too stunned to answer at first. “Um. Yes! That’s- that’s a good plan.”

 

“Is my house okay?”

 

Marinette simply bobbed her head in agreement. “W-when?”

 

“...Friday?”

 

She nodded again.

 

His brilliant smile nearly blinded her, and if there had been only one thought in her head at that moment, it would have been _Adrien Agreste_.

 

-

 

The rest of the week went by in a blur, and Friday seemed to come up faster than usual.

 

Saying Marinette was nervous was a massive understatement.

She was terrified and on the verge of tears all day.

 

But in a _good_ way.

 

Before she knew it school was over, and the entire class was chattering excitedly about the coming weekend- save for Chloe, who was bragging to Sabrina about something Ladybug-related. The redhead watched her like she was the only thing in the world that mattered.

 

“Are you ready?” Alya whispered in Marinette’s ear.

 

Marinette remained seated, her shoulders tense and eyes panicky. “No,” she whispered back.

 

“Yeah you are.”

 

“I’m not.”

 

Alya groaned, grabbing Marinette’s shoulders and swivelling the younger girl so that they were face to face. “Girl, listen to me. You are gonna stand up.”

 

Marinette waited for her to continue.

 

“ _Stand up,_ ” Alya hissed.

 

Marinette did.

 

“Good, now you’re gonna pick up your bag.”

 

She did that, too.

 

“Awesome. Now you’re gonna go home and get ready, because Adrien is picking you up at 5:00.”

 

Marinette nodded. “Okay.”

 

She took a step towards the classroom doors, then stopped. “I feel so sick.”

 

Alya rubbed her back in a comforting gesture. “You’re just nervous.”

 

“Alya, I can’t do this, I-”

 

Alya pressed a finger to her friend’s lips. “Shhh. You’re gonna do it, and it’s gonna be great. Say it with me.”

 

Marinette took a deep breath. “I’m gonna do it and it’s gonna be great.”

 

Alya smiled. “ ‘Atta girl. Now, Adrien has been waiting to talk to you for the past five minutes. Act normal.”

 

She looked up, raising her voice to a normal volume. “Hey, Adrien!”

 

Marinette looked up to see him smiling at her.

 

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice laced with concern.

 

Everyone seemed to be asking her that lately.

 

“I mean,” he continued, “We don’t have to work on it today if you aren’t feeling up to it.”

 

Marinette shook her head violently. “Oh, no no no! It’s fine! I’m fine!”

 

He nodded. “If you say so.”

 

“Alright,” Marinette’s voice was unnaturally loud. “I’ll see you at 5:00!”

 

With that, she marched out of the classroom, leaving a confused Adrien and an exasperated but proud Alya in her wake.

 

-

 

“Oh, Tikkiiiiiiii, I can’t do this.”

 

“Marinette, it’ll be okay!”

 

Marinette rounded on the tiny fairy. “What makes you think that?”

 

Tikki furrowed her tiny brow, thinking. “Remember when Adrien came over to practice for that video game tournament last year?”

 

“...Yes?”

 

“Well, _that_ turned you great, and you had a lot of fun!” Tikki flew over to the girl, who had resumed her anxious pacing. “Stop imagining worst-case scenarios, everything will turn out fine!”

 

Marinette met her eyes skeptically. “Are you sure?”

 

The red kwami nodded brightly. “Absolutely positive!”

 

Marinette exhaled. “...Okay. Sorry for snapping at you.”

 

Tikki giggled. “Aw, it’s okay. You’re just nervous.”

 

The two girls smiled at each other.

 

“ _Marinette!_ ” The two jumped, Sabine’s voice startling them.

 

“Y _eah_?” Marinette shouted back.

 

“ _Your friend is here to pick you up!_ ”

 

Marinette went pale. “Merde!”

 

Tikki gasped. “Marinette!”

 

The girl ran her hands through her hair. “Sorry,” she raised her voice again. “ _Okay, I’m coming!_ ”

 

With a final glance around her bedroom, she opened her bag for Tikki to hide inside, took a deep breath, and sprinted down the stairs, her bedroom door slamming shut behind her.

 

-

 

Adrien’s house was huge- if you could even call it a house.

 

 _I could probably fit my house in here two or three times,_ Marinette found herself estimating.

 

In front of her, Adrien chuckled. “Yeah... we don’t even use half the rooms, though - it's kind of a waste.”

 

Marinette hadn’t meant to speak out loud.

 

He must have mistaken her expression of embarrassment for something else, because he hurriedly continued speaking. “I mean, we aren’t _trying_ to waste space,” he clarified. “There was just… an incident with the staff a few years ago. Now we have extra rooms.”

 

Marinette looked up curiously, but said nothing.

 

_The staff live here? I guess it makes sense… It’d waste a lot of time to have to get through that tight security more than twice a day. Still… that doesn’t explain why half of the rooms are empty._

It felt like something was missing, but Marinette decided to leave it; Adrien looked uncomfortable.

 

They walked the rest of the way to his bedroom in relative silence.

 

Once inside, Adrien seemed to relax. He smiled at her. “So, ready to work?”

 

When he didn’t get an answer, he turned around to make sure Marinette hadn’t gotten lost in his maze of a house and was actually in the room with him.

 

Marinette was staring at his desk. “So, uh… You’re a L-Ladybug fan, huh?”

 

Adrien flushed. “Who _isn’t_? I-I mean, she’s amazing.”

 

Marinette nodded, a heavy blush dusting her cheeks as well.

 

“So. The project,” Adrien coughed awkwardly.

 

“Ah, r-right,” Marinette finally replied.

 

He grinned somewhat shyly. “Let’s get to work, shall we?”

 

-

 

In all honesty, the two hadn’t done much work.

 

Once they’d both gotten used to the other’s company, they’d been talking almost nonstop.

 

Mostly about the famous Parisian superhero duo.

 

They were currently in the middle of a heated debate over which would win in a fair fight.

 

“But Ladybug is so much smarter than Chat Noir,” Adrien protested. “She could never lose to him.”

 

“I wouldn’t underestimate Chat’s intelligence,” Marinette retorted. “He’s actually come up with, like, half of the battle plans,” she coughed. “Probably, I mean.”

 

Adrien shrugged. “They weren’t necessarily good plans, though.”

 

“Oh, c’mon,” Marinette cracked a smile. “Give the guy a break. Don’t be so… Agreste-ive.”

 

The room fell silent, and Marinette’s heart stopped.

 

_Does he not like puns? Oh, crap, what if I offended him? Stupid, stupid, st-_

 

A small snicker sounded, which developed into full-on laughter in a matter of seconds.

 

Marinette’s heart began beating again, but twice as fast as usual. Her eyes widened.

 

She hadn’t seen him laugh like this since… since his umbrella closed on her head at the beginning of the previous year.

 

She made a mental note to make more puns more often. Maybe she could ask Chat for some advice.

 

By the time Adrien had calmed down, Marinette had begun laughing, which set off a chain reaction. Soon both of them were howling with laughter.

 

“Wow,” Adrien breathed, once they’d achieved an air of somewhat calmness. “That was a really great pun.”

 

Marinette blushed. “Heh, um… that’s your… o-pun-ion?”

 

Adrien snorted, then coughed. “Hey, would you like a glass of water? All that laughing… I can barely talk!”

 

Marinette giggled, watching as the boy stood up. “Y-yes, please!”

 

Adrien opened the door, meeting her eyes over his shoulder as he left. “I’ll be right back.”

 

And then Marinette was alone in his bedroom.

 

She decided to take advantage of this moment of solitude to take a look around.

 

Not in a creepy way, of course.

 

The first thing that caught her eye was his bed- or rather, a box underneath it.

 

She crawled over to it, pulling it out of it’s hiding place. A quick glance at the cover revealed what was hidden inside.

 

“Letters.”

 

Intrigued, Marinette removed the lid, ignoring the guilt festering in her stomach.

 

Picking up the first piece of paper she saw, she began reading.

 

_Dear Stranger,_

_Mom disappeared yesterday._

_Father was yelling a lot, and he’s been searching the house and city endlessly since he noticed she was gone._

_He blamed the staff originally- he thought one of them must have kidnapped her or something._

_He had fired more than half of them before he found the note my mother left, saying she left deliberately._

_He’s too proud to admit he made a mistake and hire them again._

_The house is going to be pretty empty for a while._

_Even with mother gone, I’m going to try to keep writing._

 

 Although the paper was old and slightly crumpled, Marinette still recognized Adrien's neat handwriting.

 

Puzzle pieces clicked together in Marinette’s mind.

 

_So that’s why the house is so empty…_

 

Marinette frowned. She couldn’t imagine living without _either_ of her parents.

 

_It must have hurt so much…_

 

She put the letter back, picking up another. The writing on it was neater, and it looked more recent.

 

Taking a deep breath, flattened out the paper against her leg.

She had just begun reading when footsteps sounded outside the door.

 

Cursing under her breath, she stuffed the papers back into the box and crammed it back under the bed.

 

She was back in her original spot - albeit slightly breathless - by the time the door opened, revealing Adrien, who was holding two glasses of water.

He looked at her, and she tried to wipe all negative emotions from her face.

 

Apparently she unsuccessful.

 

“Is everything okay?” was the first thing he Adrien said as he handed her the drink.

 

She bit back a reply of “ _I should be asking you that_ ”, instead nodding as cheerfully as she could.

 

Adrien, looking slightly reassured, sat down beside her, pulling their project materials towards them.

 

For the rest of the visit, Marinette barely managed to fend off the waves of guilt and worry coursing through her, because before she’d put away the second letter, she’d glimpsed a few words, none of a positive quality.

 

_\- I want to die -_

_\- miss her -_

  
_\- disappear._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey hey we're halfway done


	4. reactions and revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ladybug misunderstands.  
> Adrien makes puns.

The night air was cool and dry, and the wind blowing past Ladybug’s face was the same wind carrying snowflakes through the dark sky.

 

It was now past midnight on a Sunday (technically Monday, now), and Ladybug _knew_ she would regret this in the morning.

 

She just had to make sure Adrien was alright.

 

 _He’s probably suffering right now,_ Ladybug reasoned with herself as she stood on the rooftop of the Agreste mansion. _You should go in and talk to him._

 

 _I know I should,_ she replied.

 

She didn’t move.

 

She ran her hands through her bangs, grunting frustratedly.

 

“Ugh… Seriously, Marinette? Why do you start having second thoughts _now_?”

 

The teen paused, preparing herself for her grand entrance.

 

She could almost hear Tikki cheering her on.

 

“Alright,” she shook out her arms, exhaling loudly. “On the count of three. One… Two… Thr- AH!”

 

Just as she went to gracefully leap off the roof, her foot slipped on the icy edge of the building.

 

Reacting quickly, her hands shot out and grabbed the ledge of the nearest window, stopping her fall abruptly.

 

She sighed, pulling herself onto her elbows to peer through the window.

 

She almost fell off the ledge again when she saw a face looking back at her.

 

The window was thrown open and the person pulled Ladybug inside.

 

Rubbing her arms to rid herself of the chill, she looked up.

 

_Oh._

 

Apparently the window had belonged to Adrien Agreste.

 

“My L- uh, Ladybug!” he raised his hands like he wanted to help her warm up, but wasn’t sure how. His fingers curled back into his fists. “Are you okay?”

 

At this point Ladybug’s face was red from more than just the cold, but Adrien didn’t need to know that.

 

“Ah, yes! I’m fine, thank you!”

 

The two stood in silence.

 

Adrien broke it first. “Why... Why exactly are you here?”

 

“Oh, right,” Ladybug remembered her mission. “I came to see if you were okay.”

 

Adrien looked at her. “Why wouldn’t I be? I mean, I appreciate your concern and all, but… Don’t you have more important things to do than check in on useless citizens?”

 

Ladybug snorted. “Somebody should tell that to Chat Noir,” she commented without thinking.

 

_Crap, I shouldn’t know about that… I am NOT Marinette right now._

 

“A-Also,” she continued quickly, trying to cover up her mistake. “You’re not useless.”

 

Adrien looked skeptical, but he didn’t seem to notice her slip-up. “Okay.”

 

Ladybug exhaled inwardly in relief.

 

Neither of them spoke.

 

Ladybug sighed again. “Alright, listen. I’m… actually here to check on you for a friend. She said she was really worried about you, so I offered to see if you needed anything.”

 

Adrien narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. “A friend. And she’s female… and she’s worried about me?” He paused, and the silence lengthened. Ladybug allowed herself to get lost in her thoughts for a moment.

 

“...Marinette?”

 

Ladybug looked up at him. “Yes?”

 

He looked confused, then slightly shocked. Ladybug blinked.

 

“Ah! I mean! Yes,” she scrambled to fix her mistake. “Yes, it was Marinette.”

 

Adrien, calming down slightly, raised an eyebrow. “Why would _Marinette_ be worried about _me_?”

 

Ladybug was slightly taken aback. “What, you don’t think she’s kind enough to do that? She’s a nice person.”

 

Adrien shook his head. “I know she’s a nice person. She’s probably the nicest person I’ve ever met,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “I meant, what would she be worried _about_? I don’t think I’ve been acting any differently.”

 

Ladybug debated whether or not she should tell him about the letters. He would definitely be angry. “Well…”

She quickly made up her mind. He _would_ be upset, but if it helped him, it’d be worth it. “Marinette told me that she read the letters.”

 

“The letters…” Adrien seemed puzzled for a moment, then he realized what the girl was talking about. “Wait, she read them? _Why?_ When?”

 

“I don’t know,” Ladybug replied. “But something she read worried her.”

 

Adrien cocked his head to the side. “What?”

 

Ladybug simply shook her head. “Your life matters, Adrien. There are people that care about you. Please keep living.”

 

Silence.

 

It took a second for Adrien to react, and what he did was certainly unexpected.

 

“...What?”

 

“What?” Ladybug echoed. “What _what_?”

 

“You… She thinks… What...?”

 

Ladybug said nothing.

 

_Could I have really misread that…? I was sure I saw those words…_

 

She flushed in embarrassment. “H-her words, not mine.”

 

Adrien closed his eyes and crossed his arms, a sudden air of cockiness coming over him. Ladybug raised her eyebrows, surprised. She’d never seen him act like this before.

 

“Well, milady, I a-purr-ciate your concern, but…” he trailed off, realizing what he had just said. “Uh. I mean...”

 

Ladybug’s eyes widened. “Wait… what? You…?”

 

Adrien rubbed the back of his head.

“Ah. I guess the cat’s out of the bag…?”

 

Ladybug gaped. “Y-you? Wh-”

 

While he seemed nonchalant, his hands visibly shook. He blushed under her stunned gaze. “Plagg, you can come out, I guess.”

 

A small black cat zipped out from under the bed, groaning. “Ugh, finally,” he looked up at his human friend. “You should really clean under there, kid.”

 

Adrien ignored him.

 

Ladybug found herself having some difficulty breathing.

 

At the sight of the black kwami, her transformation flickered and destabilized for a moment, as if Tikki was trying to restrain herself.

 

She sighed for the umpteenth time that night. “I-I guess it’s only fair that I show you know, huh?”

 

Adrien shook his head, eyes widening in anticipation despite his words. “No, you don’t have t-”

 

But Tikki had already left the earrings.

 

She immediately flew over to Plagg, who returned her violent hug with a little less enthusiasm.

His tail, however, was quivering with held-in happiness.

 

Marinette clenched her teeth, praying for a positive reaction.

When none came she cracked open one eye.

 

Adrien was standing about a meter away from her, trembling - with excitement? Anxiety? Both? - and Marinette found she could stare at him for eternity if he permitted it.

Only one thing was off.

She couldn’t see his eyes.

Because those vivid green irises were currently being blocked by his hand.

 

For a moment, Marinette thought he was mocking her.

 

 _No, he’d never do that…_ she reasoned. _He’s too kind._

 

Maybe he was in pain. Had her transformation blinded him?

Concerned, she surged forward, mouth open.

 

Then she stopped.

 

Pure, raw emotion coursed through her when she realized what was going on.

 

She wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.

 

Even after all that begging and pleading, he still put her needs before his own.

 

_“Purr-haps we could share our identities, milady?”_

 

Her mind shot back to the time she’d been forced to detransform inside of that closet.

 

Just before her transformation had released, the door had opened a tiny bit more, as if someone had twisted the handle to peek inside.

 

She’d caught a glimpse of black and green before the door was forced completely closed.

 

Marinette, sorting through her thoughts, finally decided on what her next action would be.

 

She giggled. “Adrien…”

 

He jumped.

 

“L-Ladybug, are you sure?”

 

“Adrien,” she repeated.

 

His head shifted her direction. “...Yes?”

 

“You can open your eyes.”

 

And after a brief moment of hesitation, he did.

 

And he immediately covered them again.

 

His entire face, actually.

 

He spun around so that he was facing away from her, groaning. “Oh my god… Are you kidding me?”

 

Marinette's stomach dropped, and she clasped her hands together. “...No?”

 

He rotated in her direction again, peeking through his fingers. “No way.”

 

“Uh,” Marinette replied intelligently, floundering under his brilliant gaze.

 

“This entire time, you were literally…”

 

“In the seat. Right behind you,” the blue-haired girl supplied nervously.

 

“Yeah… oh man, wow,” he scrubbed his hands across his face. “Wow.”

 

Marinette made an awkward noise that sounded like a cross between a cough and a laugh. “So, is this, um, a _good_ thing, or…?”

 

His eyes, which had been previously closed again, shot to her face.

 

“I mean, it’s…” his eyes trailed away from her as he struggled to put together a proper sentence.

 

He looked up again, his mind apparently made up.

 

His eyes shone softly in the dim light. “It’s definitely a-”

 

A violent crash sounded directly outside the window, and the two practically hit the ceiling.

 

Plagg groaned. “Why now, of all times? It was just getting good.”

 

Tikki giggled and elbowed him. “There’ll be more time for this stuff later.”

 

Adrien nodded in agreement, whisper-yelling a “Plagg, claws out!”

There was a flash of green, and Chat Noir was standing in front of Marinette.

She probably would have squealed had there not been imminent danger directly outside the building.

“Tikki, spots on!”

In a flash, the two partners flew out the window, their previous conversation forgotten.

 

Mostly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I just thought I should clarify something ??
> 
> In one paragraph, when Adrien mentions superheroes having more important things to do that visiting "useless" citizens, and Ladybug replies with, "Somebody should tell that to Chat Noir," that's a reference to those marichat fics
> 
> u know the ones
> 
> So yeah ?? I just thought I should clear that up cuz one of my friends was a little confused about it hahah


	5. palette knives and privation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The famous Parisian superhero duo isn't much of a duo anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry

 

The akuma was a nasty one.

 

He called himself The Pain-ter, and for an art-based akuma he was surprisingly dangerous.

 

He seemed to be in his mid-twenties,and he’d apparently experienced the worst case of art block he’d ever had.

 

Ladybug was sympathetic; as a fashion student, she knew art block all too well.

 

But, that still didn’t excuse terrorizing the citizens of Paris.

 

She dodged another chunk of paint that had been thrown her way.

 

Ladybug turned to Chat to find him already watching her, waiting for her to tell him what to do.

 

A small frown crept onto her lips as she glanced around.

 

He was very trusting.

 

Maybe too trusting.

 

She looked back at him, deciding on a plan.

 

“Alright, Chat,” she ordered. “Distract him for me.”

 

He nodded right away. “Will do, milady.”

With a brief salute and a cheeky grin, he was off and yelling insults and taunts at the akumatized villain.

 

Ladybug hurried into a more sheltered location, catching a snippet of the villain screaming, “I’m going to paint the town red!” before she summoned the Lucky Charm of the day.

 

A large, spotted bucket fell into her outstretched hands.

 

“A bucket? What am I supposed to do with th-”

 

She broke off when she heard a strained shout from her partner. “Milady, I don’t mean to rush you, but…”

 

There was a loud thud, and Ladybug rushed out of her hiding spot.

 

The first thing she noticed was the lack of Chat Noir bouncing around and irritating their enemy. Scanning the area, she finally spotted him stuck to a nearby wall with a blob of red paint.

 

His eyes were wide and panicky. “Ladybug- Behind you!”

 

Ladybug spun around, taking a few quick steps backward.

 

A sharp pain shot through her left shoulder, and her hand instinctively moved to grab it.

 

It felt warm and sticky through her suit, and for a moment her limbs stopped working.

 

“Ladybug!” came Chat’s voice again, and something clicked in her head just as The Pain-ter was pulling back his arm, another sharpened palette knife in hand.

 

She ran, hiding behind a nearby fountain,the bucket nearly slipping from her grasp.

 

“Hey, Pain-ter,” Chat Noir called, drawing his attention away from his partner. “Your idea of a tough fight seems pretty _abstract_!”

 

The Pain-ter scowled, turning to the trapped boy. “You aren’t in much of a position to be taunting me, kitty.”

 

Ladybug didn’t hear Chat’s sharp retort as she focused her attention on the Charm.

 

The water in the fountain in front of her caught her eye, as well as the blob of paint Chat was stuck in.

 

“That's it,” she whispered, pulling her hand away from her shoulder to grab the handle of the bucket.

 

She dipped the bucket into the water, reflecting on how lucky she was that the fountain wasn’t off or frozen at this time of year.

 

Once it was full nearly to the brim, she heaved it out of the fountain.

 

Considering the fact that it was a metal bucket full of water, it was much lighter than she thought it’d be as she ran over to the side of a nearby building.

 

Grabbing her yo-yo, she threw it, and it caught a lamppost beside the building Chat was stuck to.

 

Glancing down to check on her partner, she noted how angry The Pain-ter had become - she could see him shaking even with the distance between them - and realized she needed to move much faster.

 

She hurriedly swung onto the roof of Chat’s building, her injury stinging openly in the freezing wind.

 

Grasping the handle of the bucket tightly with both hands, she moved across the roof until she was directly overtop of where Chat was stuck.

 

Biting her lip, she remembered that cats hate water.

“Sorry, chaton,” she whispered apologetically as she tipped the bucket.

 

She heard Chat let out a yelp of surprise as the cold water came into contact with him and the paint.

 

Ladybug grinned victoriously as the water softened the paint, allowing Chat to pull himself away from the wall with ease.

 

He stepped away from the wall, shooting a thankful albeit irritated look towards her.

 

At the same time, there was a sudden flash of movement on the outskirts of Ladybug’s vision.

 

Half a second later, Chat was staggering backwards to lean heavily against the wall, the wooden handle of a palette knife protruding from his stomach.

 

Ladybug couldn’t breathe.

 

Time seemed to stop.

 

With the sudden, jarring realization of what had just happened came waves of fury.

 

_Nobody hurts my partner._

 

Time started again, and went into fast-forward.

The rest of the battle was over in an instant, The Pain-ter’s brush lying on the ground, snapped in half.

 

Ladybug hastily purified the akuma, leaving the confused victim to fend for himself as she sprinted over to her injured partner.

 

The knife had disappeared, as had all other evidence of the fight, leaving Chat’s wound open to the wind and snow.

 

The area around him wasn’t red with just paint anymore.

 

She skidded to a halt, scraping her knees on the asphalt as she crawled towards him.

 

“Chat…” she spoke immediately, hands on his shoulders, pulling him towards her. “Chat, oh god, my chaton…”

 

He winced at the movement.

 

Her hands went to his hair - she ran her fingers through it, wishing she could feel it through the suit - then to his injury.

 

“O-okay, we just need to put pressure on his, everything will be fine,” She rambled, more to herself than Chat.

 

Chat coughed slightly, shifting his head in her lap.

His voice was strained when he spoke. “I think I’m going to need more than a…” his voice died out for second, and he tried again. “More than a trip the in-fur-mary, m-milady.”

 

Ladybug wanted to smile, but she couldn’t. “C-Chat, that is _not_ funny,” she tried to sound disappointed, but her voice broke on the last word.

 

His hand met her face but he pulled it back when it left smears of blood on her cheek. “Sorry.”

 

Ladybug couldn’t believe he was apologizing. “Shh, don't speak,” she ordered softly.

 

She raised her head, not looking away from Chat’s face. “Someone? Alya,” she called out.

She could sense that a crowd had gathered around them, and her trusted friend was bound to be there.

 

“Um… Yes?” a shaky voice replied.

 

It was odd to hear Alya sounding so unsure of herself, and Ladybug almost looked up.

 

But she kept her eyes on Chat, wanting to see every detail before she never could again.

 

 _No_ , she reprimanded herself. _He’s going to be fine._

 

“Call the paramedics,” it was like she was hearing another person speaking with her voice.

 

She heard Chat correcting her in her head. " _Purr-amedics, milady."_

 

She assumed Alya had nodded, because there was no vocal response.

 

 _It doesn’t matter either way_ , said a small voice inside of her. _We’re going to lose him._

 

She wasn’t sure when she’d started crying.

 

Chat was frowning up at her.

 

_No, that’s wrong. He should only ever be happy._

 

“Why... why are you crying?” he asked. “D-don't cry, I'll be fine.”

She didn't reply.

"Milady, please... c-could you smile... for me?" 

She couldn’t.

 

Here they were, her and a boy that had _covered his eyes_ when what he’d wanted most was in front of him. A boy that had never asked for _anything,_ a boy that _finally_ had a request for her.

 

And she couldn’t do it.

 

“I-I’m sorry,” she mumbled through tears. “I-I can’t.”

 

Then _Chat_ was the one that smiled. It was soft, not quite a grin. It was forgiving.

 

“That’s okay.”

 

He coughed again.

 

Tears dripped from Ladybug’s face onto Chat’s. She tried to wipe them away gently, but her hands were shaking and _he_ was shaking and soon, she wouldn’t be part of the famous Parisian superhero duo anymore, because there wouldn’t _be_ one.

His eyes suddenly focused in on her intensely, like he had something urgent to say. “Is… is anyone listening to us right now?”

 

Ladybug shook her head. “I don’t _care_ if anyone is. Say whatever you want, Chat.”

 

She might have imagined it, but it appeared as though the look in Chat's eyes mirrored the one in her own. He closed them for a moment, and Ladybug panicked slightly. But she could still feel him shaking.

 

_He’s still with me._

 

“Y’know,” Chat’s words were slightly slurred and as much as it pained Ladybug ( _I never wanted to hear him like this_ ) she listened closely, not wanting to miss a moment.

 

“I…” he swallowed, trying to clear his throat. She brushed his still-wet hair away from his eyes.

 

“M-Marinette, I am _so glad_ it’s you.”

 

She released a breathy half-laugh, half-sob. “I’m glad it’s you too, chaton. I love you _so_ much,” words were rushing out and there was no filter anymore but she didn’t care at all. “Y-you… You deserved _s-so_ much better than this. I-I’m sorry.”

 

“Not your fault,” he managed to get out.

 

His eyelids looked heavy and she knew he was slipping and she just wanted to hold him close and tell him everything would be fine, even though it was blatantly obvious that it wouldn’t.

 

It would absolutely not be fine, because what was a world without Adrien Agreste?

 His eyes slipped closed but he pulled them open again, forcing a strained smile.

And then Chat’s eyes were closed and Ladybug was _sobbing_ , and she felt so open and free but free in a bad way, free in a way she never wanted to be.

 

She clasped his hand tightly between hers and kissed it once, twice, three times.

 

She leaned over him, pressing her forehead to his, eyes squeezed shut because maybe if she didn’t see his face, maybe he wouldn’t be dead, at least for her.

 

As they say, seeing is believing.

 

Through shuddering breaths and forehead kisses, Ladybug spoke.

“Oh, my chaton…” she mumbled against his forehead. “I-I love you,” she repeated thickly, like a broken record. “I love you so… s-so much.”

 

If she realized she was speaking to someone who wasn’t there anymore, she didn’t care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ha ah aha ha hhbhhhufhgkdjhgldjhldjgughldiugypk
> 
> I've never written a death scene before so I hope that was okay -- Ik IT was v cliché I apologize soBs
> 
> AlrigHTY WE ONLY HAVE THE EPILOGUE LEFT..!! Unfortunately I haven't actually written it yet oops  
> I'll try to have it up by next Monday tho hah


End file.
